Tell Me How My Mother Died: Cassie's Story
by EA Thomas
Summary: Okay, here's things from Cassie's view...Begins with Heroes
1. Tell Me How My Mother Died

The following events are written from Cassandra Frazier's point of view. Taking into account the events that you are already aware of—keep an open mind as you read the following…the other side of the story…P.S. STARGATE ISN'T MINE!!!!!

"Tell Me How My Mother Died"

"CASSIE!!!!!!!!!" The all too familiar wakeup call echoed up the stairs and brought Cassie to a waking jolt as she sat straight up in her bed. "If you want a ride to school you've got ten minutes!!" The voice was getting louder, and as the stairs creaked under the weight of her mother as she ascended the stairs.

Cassie jumped out of bed and threw her blankets back over her bed in an ill attempt to feign readiness.

Her bedroom door opened and she whipped around to see her mother standing in the doorway already dressed and ready for the day—right hand firmly propped on her hip and that look on her face.

"Five minutes and I'm ready." Cassie held out her hands to hold back an early morning scolding for once again hitting the snooze button one too many times on her alarm clock.

Running pass her mother, she hurried into the bathroom.

Janet Frazier had always been an even-tempered woman and had found the joy in life that she longed for when she took Cassie in. She always wanted children—but her x-husband was unwilling and thus led to his current absence from her life.

She couldn't help but smile as she backed out of the room and walked back to the stairs. "Ten minutes Cassie, I can't be late today." She walked back into the kitchen and poured herself a third cup of coffee as she waited for her daughter.

Ten minutes later, a properly dressed Cassie bounded down the stairs and jumped over the last two before a glorious landing. She held out her hands and spun around to reveal her transformation, "Tada!"

"Beautiful! Now go get in the car." She set her cup in the sink and grabbed her suitcase before following Cassie outside.

Cassie should have woken up on time—of all days to be late she just had to sleep late today.

Watching her mom as she locked the door, Cassie waited for the car alarm to beep and hopped in the car.

"I'm sorry." She was trying to smooth over any misgiving that would lead to her restriction at a later date—but there was no reply to her apology. "Mom?" she asked, reaching out to touch her mother's arm.

"Yeah?" she asked absentmindedly.

"Preoccupied?"

"A little—I'm sorry, work stuff…" She started the car and pulled out into the road.

"Stuff I can hear?"

"Well, there's a man coming today that is going to make a documentary of the SGC." Just thinking about it made her nervous. She hated having to talk about herself--that's why she loved medicine-- you were always talking about someone else.

"I guess that means you are going to be home late?" Cassie looked out the window and tried not to have that tone I her voice when she was upset—but it was there nevertheless.

"I'll try—" She looked over to Cassie, but she wasn't making eye contact. "I tell you what. I'll send a car for you and I'll meet you at the academy hospital for dinner, we'll go to that little café that you like."

"Okay." Feigning a smile, Cassie had managed to lighten her mother's mood and was satisfied that maybe she had lifted some of the stress of her mom.

It had been nearly ten years since Teal'c reached into that bush and found her. She still remembered him as her hero, even though he never showed a deep interest in her Cassie always thought of Teal'c as her own silent warrior.

It had been hard at first, but now, after all this time she had come to think of herself as human. How that had happened was a mystery to her. At first she tried to blend in with the kids at school but there were differences that she couldn't ignore. By the time she got to middle school things were getting normal—then that whole metamorphosis thing happened and she almost died. But lately, she had been a normal senior in high school and even managed to find a college near home that she liked. It was all a cakewalk now. Her future was as bright as the sun and even though she still had times where she missed her family and friends from her first home—her new family gave her all the love she could ever hope for and she was grateful. So when Sergeant Syler called that afternoon and told her that "something" had come up and her mother was going to be working through the night—she ordered a pizza and hunkered down with a Brad Pitt movie marathon and thought nothing more of it.

It wasn't until the next morning that Cassie realized things were different. She had slept on the couch all night and didn't wake up until almost 11:30—half the school day had passed.

"OH CRAP!" Cassie flew from the couch as she focused on the VCR digital clock and ran to the phone. "Mom is so going to kill me!" She dialed her mom's office number and leaned on the counter as she tried to think of what excuse she could possibly use for this infraction. "Hi, it's Cassie, can I speak to my mom please?" She tapped her fingers on the counter and waited as the voice on the other end stalled. "Maggie? Are you there?"

"Yeah I'm here Cassie—hold on a sec."

"Yep—I'm dead…sooo dead." She leaned harder on the counter and yawned as a familiar voice came over the phone.

"Cassie?" Sam's voice came over the phone clear and brought Cassie wide-awake.

"Sam? Is my mom there?"

"Uh—Cass, something is going on here—I'm sending a car to pick you up okay? Pack a bag for a couple of days and someone will be there in about 30 minutes."

Send a car? Cassie's mind was reeling and the room began to spin. "Sam—what's going on?" She demanded.

"Cassie—just pack a bag okay? Thirty minutes." The phone hung up and Cassie stood back from the counter.

SOMETHING IS WRONG. Alarms were going off in Cassie's head as she stuffed a few shirts and a pair of jeans in her duffle bag. She had wanted to cry when Sam told her to be ready in 30 minutes but she had held them in. She knew something was wrong—of course something was wrong, why wouldn't they let her talk to her mom if everything was fine?

The doorbell rang and Cassie flew down the stairs with her bag slung over her shoulder.

She opened the door and two MP's stood on the front step. The sight was enough to rip out her heart but she still kept it all in and wouldn't let her emotions run wild with conspiracies.

"All ready Ms. Frazier?" The MP asked as Cassie stared back at them.

"Yeah, all ready." She held up the bag and feigned a smile.

Cassie stepped out into the cold air. Deep within, something started churning inside Cassie that had lay dormant since she came to this world. A black hole formed inside her and began to grow—shutting down her emotions as it grew, casting a shadow over her with every moment that passed.

The all too familiar landmarks passed by her window as the car slowed and took the last turn before reaching the front gate of Cheyenne Mountain.

She was certain now—this was a life altering—meaning of life event. And as the car pulled to a stop in the parking lot, the MP's got out of the car and waited a moment for Cassie to open the door.

She didn't want to get out of the car. She would have stayed there the rest of her life if it meant she didn't have to go into the base and find out what had happened—she would have given anything to freeze time and keep from having to find out the truth.

The VIP rooms at the base had once been like a castle to Cassie—only reserved for special guests, only once had she been aloud to stay in one and this being her second time she saw it completely different. The midnight blue shade of the blankets now longer looked like the sky above her house, the paintings of galaxies and quasars no longer held the mysteries of the universe and the excitement she felt whenever she was aloud to hang out at the base with her mom died within her as she heard the door knob turning—and Sam walked in.

"Hi Cassie." She had been crying--it was obvious. No matter how she tried to smile, the pain in her eyes told Cassie everything she needed to know before Sam could say anything beyond her name.

"NO." She stood from the edge of the bed and walked backwards away from Sam as she walked into the room.

"What?" She asked trying to appear normal in every aspect.

"NO! Sam-- don't tell me!" She fell back against the wall and sunk to the floor as Sam came and knelt in front of her. "Don't tell me—please, I can't…" she couldn't speak beyond her sobs that were racking her body.

Sam reached out and held her arms, only to have Cassie push her away violently and stand.

"Don't touch me! I won't listen to you!" Cassie pushed pass Sam and stormed out the room and into the hall. Walking so fast, Sam had to run to catch up with her.

"Cassie-"

In an instant, Cassie turned and faced Sam with fear and hate in her eyes. At first Sam stepped back, but she had to be the one to tell her, she had to hear the truth.

"Cassie, your mom—"

Cassie brought the conversation to a halt as she rammed her fist into the wall beside Sam's shoulder.

"I can't hear it Sam—I knew, somehow…I knew…I just can't hear it yet. Just let me be—" After a moment, Cassie turned and walked away from Sam.

Sam let her go this time with out protest. She had been similar when she found out about her own mother's death—the knowledge was too overwhelming and she couldn't listen to the explanation until after the initial shock of it all.

Sam wandered the halls trying to think of how to better approach Cassie about her mother. There was so much to say—she had to know how her mother died, she had to know that it wasn't senseless.

The days event's had been weighing heavy on her, but now—she couldn't keep it together anymore, and there was only one person she could thin of that could help her get a grip on the world once again.

She had gotten word about the Colonel before she called Cassie but hadn't been able to see him yet.

As she reached for the door the ICU, she paused and knocked first—then opened the door anyway.

He was getting dressed when she walked in, and had barley pulled his shirt on when she closed the door behind her.

She couldn't even form words until she saw him—what was she going to say?

In the end, his arms around her was all she needed to make the world make sense again and in a moment where she let him hold her when she needed it—Jack O'Neill became her rock.

Her forehead was buried in his chest as he held her. She didn't know how long she had been in his arms but as she pulled away from his shoulder she realized that her body had stopped shaking and she could breath normally.

"Are you alright?" His voice was soft as he whispered in her ear.

"No—"

"Carter…" He brushed the hair from her forehead and tears streamed from her eyes once again. "Tell me what to do." He pleaded, pulling her close again.

"You're doing it." She relaxed in his arms once again and let him hold her.

"Sam…we're going to make it through this—I promise." It was all she needed at that moment, for someone to tell her that as bad as things were—they would be better.

"Jack?"

"Yeah?"

"Thank you."

"For what?"

"This." She nuzzled down into his neck one more time and indulged in his strength.

A soft smile creased his lips as he led her. "Anytime Sam…anytime."

The infirmary was dark as Cassie crashed against the far corner.

She couldn't cry anymore. At first she couldn't keep the tears from falling but a calm had swept over her that had numbed all her senses. And there in the darkness she found the peace that let the world fall back into place.

"Hey kido."

It took her a moment to realize that someone was actually talking to her. Looking up into the darkness she saw Daniel's face in the shadows as he sat beside her.

"I like this room too." He kept a short distance from her, thinking that she might not be ready to be touched just yet—she wasn't ready to let go yet. "I died in here you know? And your mom—she fought against me the whole way." She wasn't responding to him yet. He was still talking to himself. "I remember when I first met her, I had just came back from Abidos and she was clearing me…so I could go off base—she was so rough! She had this needle that she jabbed into my arm so hard—it left a bruise the next day." He smiled at the memory and looked over to Cassie—still unresponsive. "I remember the first time I met you—we were all wearing those suits and Teal'c had to go into that bush and pull you out…you were so scared."

Inside, Cassie was reliving that day over and over again as he spoke. Every moment that brought her here flashed before her eyes as his words echoed through the room.

"Then we brought you back here and Janet…she just fell in love with you—I remember when she first told me that she wanted to take you in. She was so excited about it. She couldn't stop smiling and talking about what color she was going to paint your room."

"Pink." She wasn't so much as adding onto his statement as she was completing the memory out loud. "She painted it pink and…let me paint the wall by the door." A faint smile crossed her face as she spoke of the memory. After a moment she looked over to Daniel. "I loved her Daniel." She spoke softly and let her forehead rest on Daniel's shoulder.

"I know honey." He pulled her into his arms and held her as she sat silently for the longest time.

"Daniel?" She sat on his legs and huddled against his chest as he wrapped his arms around her.

"Yeah?"

"Tell me how my mother died."


	2. Tell Me How My Mother Died: Part Two

No tears ran from Cassie's eyes as Daniel spoke.

She listened intently to the recount of the day before and how a Jaffa had shot that one young man. His voice broke when he told her how the staff blast came out of nowhere and how her mother died instantly and felt no pain.

Cassie needed to hear it, that she knew. No matter how much it hurt to hear about her mother's death she would always wonder if she didn't know why her mother had died.

"She died saving her boys." Cassie said sitting back from Daniel.

"Her boys?" Daniel asked as he brushed her hair away from her face.

"Mom always said that they guys around here spent so much time in the infirmary that she thought of them as her own—her boys. She died saving them, I don't think she would regret that."

Daniel smiled at her revelation. "I think you're right."

The lump in Cassie's throat lessened and she felt at peace for the first time that day. "I need to talk to Sam—I kinda yelled at her awhile ago." She stood and fixed her shirt and pulled her hair back into a barrette.

"I think she understands." Daniel said still sitting in the corner.

"Just the same, I need to talk to her."

"Alright." She turned for the door and Daniel called out to her once again. "Cassie?

"Yeah?" She asked turning back to the dark corner where Daniel sat.

"Not to sound too parent-ish, but…have you eaten at all today?"

"No—I haven't."

"Stop by the commissary and get something—it'll make you feel better."

"I will." She turned for the door again and squinted into the florescent light of the hallway.

"Excuse me?" The unfamiliar voice called out from behind her.

She turned and still didn't recognize the short man that approached her.

"Do I know you?" She asked, as he fumbled with his hands.

"My name is Emmett Bregman. I'm assuming you are Janet Frazier's daughter?"

"Yes." He reached out to shake her hand and she slowly took his hand. "You knew my mother?"

"Only briefly, but—she was a beautiful woman, not just on the outside, but inside."

She looked at the man standing before her and only wanted to get away from him.

"Thank you—but, I have to go see Major Carter." She pulled her hand out of his and turned down the hall.

"Ms. Frazier?" He called out.

"Yes?"

"I've been looking for Doctor Jackson—"

"He's in there." She said, pointing to the door of the infirmary. "But I don't think he wants to talk to anyone right now."

"I'll take my chances…"

The halls of the SGC were beginning to come back to life. The last 48 hours had been rough on everyone, but they still carried on in their duties. Cassie was amazed—how is it that the world kept moving when things like this happened? Shouldn't the rotation of the world pause for a few minutes in recognition of such a loss?

The commissary was busy as she made her way through the line and sat down with a soda and a plate of cookies. She had looked at the selection they had for lunch but Tuna surprise didn't seem like a good idea at the moment.

She was working on her second chocolate chip cookie and thinking about her first mother when her plate of cookies was pulled away and replaced with another plate of cheeseburger and fries.

Cassie looked down at the replacement and smiled. With the tilt of her head she looked up and smiled up to the familiar face of one Walter Harriman.

"Hi Walter." Propping her head in her hand she looked back down at the plate before her.

"It's not gourmet but it's better than cookies a'la coke."

"Thanks."

"You know…most of us have been secured to the base for the last few days and we decided to high jack one of the VIP rooms and watch a movie—why don't you join us?"

She thought a moment and glared back at him. "What movie?"

"Uhmm…Felger picked it out—I think it's called X-treme something."

"Maybe."

"Alright." He watched her a moment as she looked back down at the table. Without a word he reached out and covered her hand with his own and gave it a soft squeeze.

Looking back up to him she smiled. "I know…" she nodded and turned her hand over in his.

Cassie sat in the commissary long after Walter had left. But it was getting late now—and there was one thing left to do.

As she walked down the hall to Sam's lab she felt tears welling up in her eyes again. The door was just a few feet away and she stopped a few feet from the doorway.

Tightening her fists, Cassie forbid herself to cry again—it wasn't going to help anything and it would only make Sam worse off.

With a deep cleansing breath she shook off the tears and walked into the doorway of Sam's lab. She sat at her desk leaning on her arm.

Cassie walked slowly into the room and stopped at the end of the desk.

"Sam?"

Looking up at the sound of her voice—Sam automatically reached out for Cassie's hand and pulled her closer as she looked up to her. "Cassie, I'm sorry for earlier—I just wanted to be the one that—"

"Sam, it's alright. Daniel told me everything—and I think I understand." She moved into Sam's arms and hugged her.

"Cassie—I'm so sorry you have to go through this again."

"Sam—"

"There's going to be a memorial tomorrow, here at the base—" As Sam spoke she wiped the tears from her eyes.

"I can't." Her words caught Sam off guard.

"What?"

"Everyone has been so great Sam, and I'm alright—I just can't be there, hearing everyone talk about her—not yet."

"It's okay Honey—do you want me to take you back to the house? You can stay at my place if you want—"

"No, I'll just stay here a little while—"

"Cass…I have to tell you that your mom left a will and she named me and the Colonel as your guardians."

A soft smile crossed her face as she looked at Sam. "You and Jack my parents…as it should be I guess."

"Cassie, don't lecture me now…please." She stood from the stool she had been sitting on and hugged Cassie.

"Not lecturing—just pointing out the obvious…as always." The familiar jab made Cassie smile as she hugged Sam. For years she had joked Sam about her commanding officer—but she never knew the truth.

"I love you kido."

"I love you too."

"We'll work all of this out okay? And nothing has changed—you're still going to college in the fall." She pulled back from Cassie and found her self-stepping into the role of a mother easier than she had expected.

"I know…but uh—I'm going to go lay down for a while. Today has just been—"

"Too much, I know. I'll come by later and we'll go get some dinner." She reached out and tucked a stray hair behind Cassie's ear.

"Sounds good."

That night Cassie turned off all her emotions just as she had done when she lost her mother the first time—it had been too much to bear then and loosing her mother a second was worse.

Janet was supposed to be here with her forever. She was supposed to be here when she graduated and moved off to college, she was supposed to call and leave messages on her phone that she needed to come home more often. She was supposed to be there when she found the man of her dreams and got married, she was supposed to be there when she had her first child--she was supposed to **_be_** **_with her_** period.

As she sat with Sam eating tacos in the commissary Cassie couldn't help but repeat her mother's words in her head over and over again. It was something Janet had told her when she first brought her home, when Cassie first starting calling her mom.

It was difficult for Cassie to realize that even though she was now Janet's daughter it didn't mean that she had to forget her own mother.

"Family is more than blood Cassie—families are made from love. Jack, Sam, Daniel and General Hammond are my family, even if we aren't related by blood. What matters is having people in your life that you care about and that care about you—as long as you have that, you'll always have a family."

She tried to rationalize that she still had a family—even if the most important figure in the family had been lost. Sam, Jack and Daniel would always be there for her so would her other friends from the base…she wasn't alone, even if she felt alone.

"Cassie?" Sam asked as she wiped the taco sauce off her chin. "I was thinking—about taking some vacation time a week at least. What do you say to a road trip?" She was trying too hard to compensate and Cassie was trying to keep from lashing out at her.

"Maybe…I just…I can't think right now." She set her taco down and reached for her drink and sucked down half her coke before looking back at Sam. "I need to sit and let my head stop spinning first."

"It's alright—no rush to do anything. I uh—called the school and told them you'd be out for the rest of the week."

The small gesture perked up Cassie's ears and she smiled. "Mom would never let me stay out of school that long! You might be better at this mom thing than you think."

Sam laughed as she looked back over to Cassie. "They're sending your work home with Julia…she's bringing it by the house on Friday."

"Ohhh, so close." The moment of lighthearted banter caught Cassie by surprise and the smile drained from her face as she looked down at the table.

"Cassie…" Reaching out for her hand, Sam spoke softly. "It's alright to smile. It's alright to make jokes and remember your mother and talk about her."

"I know—it just feels like…"

"Like what?"

"Like it should hurt more. Like I should be…I don't know—inconsolable."

"Cass—"

"I know…time. That's what I keep telling myself—that I just need time, but it still feels numb." She stood from the table and pushed her chair in. "I'll be around…" She picked up her tray and dumped it before heading out of the commissary.

Sam watched her walk out—she wanted to help her, but her one fear was that the only thing she could do to help was…nothing.

The ceremony would be starting any moment now and Cassie was still hiding from the world in her little corner of the base. A little corner on sub-level 29 in a storage room filed with off world artifacts that had been deemed useless.

Cassie first found this place when she was mad at her Mother for a reason she could no longer remember. And now it served as her hiding place as she once again tried to hide from her mother—that's what she was doing, hiding from her mother.

In the woman's locker room, Sam looked in the mirror and adjusted the medals on her uniform when there was a knock on the door.

"Yeah?" She asked turning to the door as Colonel O'Neill walked in.

"Hey, how's it going?" He asked, as he walked over to her side by the mirror.

"I can't seem to get this right." She said pulling at her medal on her shoulder.

"Hey hey hey, you're going to pull it off—let me see." He took the medal from her hand and gently laid in straight along side the others. "There, see—it's perfect."

Sam looked back to the mirror and let her shoulder's slump as tears once again rolled down her cheeks.

"I can't do this."

Taking matters into his own hands Jack took her by the shoulders and turned her into him as he looked down at her. "Sam, you can do this."

"Cassie doesn't want to be there—I tried to find her but she's hiding somewhere on the base."

"She'll be alright, she's a tough kid—remember?" He pulled her into his embrace and let his arms wrap around her shoulders. "It'll be okay…this is all going to be okay."

"Sometimes it feels like all I ever need is for you to tell me that."

"I'll always be here to say it."

He held her until her watched beeped and signaled that it was time to head to the gate room.

As they walked to the elevator, the halls had once again fell silent except for Sam's sniffles as they waiting outside the elevator. As the doors opened Jack laid his hand on her shoulder and they walked in the elevator. He pushed the button and as the doors closed, he let his hand fall to his side and took her hand into his.

She squeezed his hand lightly and held his hand until the elevator dinged—one moment where they left the ranks behind. But as soon as the doors opened, they were at a respectable distance and once again the Colonel and Major of SG-1.

Cassie was mad at herself now. She was hiding when she should be with the others as they remembered her mother.

Pushing away from the corner where she sat, Cassie ran for the door and down the hall to the elevator.

She stared at the display screen as the numbers ticked by. It was only one floor away but the trip seemed like an eternity.

Finally--the doors opened and Cassie bolted for the command room.

Her pace slowed as she came upon the entrance. The room was dark and quiet. People stood at the glass window looking down at the ceremony below.

She walked slowly through the crowd and stood by Walter as she looked down at the gateroom.

He looked over to her and wrapped his arm around Cassie's shoulder. She leaned into him as they watched below.

Sam walked up to the podium and Cassie wiped the tears from her face as she listened to her speak of her mother and the list of people that were alive because of her.


	3. Tell Me How My Mother Died: Part Three

I had been a month since Cassie said goodbye to her mother. Every day seemed to make it easier to breath and walk around without feeling as though there were a vice around Cassie's chest.

At her graduation, Jack and Daniel held up a giant sign with her name as she walked across the stage to receive her diploma. They had given her a car as a graduation present and that night the whole team took her out to dinner. Others from the base had showed up but Cassie left early to meet her friends at an all-night grad party.

She couldn't help but laugh as she tried to leave, first Daniel gave her 60 bucks just in case she needed a cab in the middle of the party, then Sam reminded her to be careful and not to drink anything if it was opened before she got it. And right before she reached her new car, Jack ran out and caught up with her.

"You're still my little girl—you know that right?" He asked as he bear hugged her.

"I know."

"I don't care how old you get."

"I know Jack—but I really have to go." She pulled back and reached for the car door.

"Ok, have fun and uhh…call me if you need anything." He said as she rolled down the window and started the car.

"Call you?" she asked.

"Uh, yeah…" he pointed to the cup holder in her car where a cell phone had been strategically placed.

"OH MY GOSH!!!!! JACK!"

"So—no excuses about not keeping in touch…ya hear?"

She held the phone and smiled up at Jack. "Thank you Jack—for everything."

"Go on, don't want to miss any of the festivities." He waived her off and soon she was watching him in her rearview mirror as she drove away.

The party went as expected. Under age drinking mixed with lame music and crappy food always made for a party worth escaping from.

Her friends had ventured for their usual hangout spot but Cassie opted for a lonely ride out to Saint Mary's Memorial Cemetery.

The full moon lit up the night as she walked through the damp grass to the clearing where her mother's head stone sat surrounded by fresh flowers. As though she were leaning on her mother's shoulder, Cassie sat beside the headstone and rested her head on the side.

"Hi mom." Looking up to the stars Cassie smiled as she felt her mother's presence envelope her. "I miss you so much. I wish you were here, I wish I could just talk to you one more time—tell you I love you." Brushing away the tears from her cheek she looked back to the inscription on the head stone. It was simple and elegant, just like her mother. The words were fitting of her last moments, saying that she gave her life so that others might live. "I've been thinking a lot lately about what I remember about my parents. I now my dad was tall and he worked in the fields a lot and my mother made a dress for me shortly before she died. But one thing my mother told me sticks out. It was a story that my Mother told me when my best friend died. She said that when our loved ones pass on in this life that they don't leave us behind, they only move onto a place where they can look over us until we are reunited again. I never believed it before—and when I was brought here I thought I was leaving my Mother and Father behind. But now, I want to believe it. I want to believe that when I wake up in the morning you'll be there watching over me even though I can't see you. So please, if you can hear me, please stay with me…I need you."

She stood from the ground and looked down at the head stone. She still had on the dress she bought for graduation, a long blue dress with short sleeves and glitter all over. Now it was covered in grass and Cassie had to laugh as she could have sworn she heard her mother sighing at her recklessness with the garment. "I know…I know…I should act more like a lady, I'll try--I promise"

Six months later…

Cassie had moved off to school and left most of her things at Sam's house after the closing of her mother's house. Everything was better, better than better—it was…normal.

It was after her math class that the world tipped on its axis. She had ran back to her room for a book she forgot and the phone rang…

"Cassie? It's Sam—I was wondering if you could come home this weekend…" Sam was happy. Her voice was…well-- Cassie had never heard that tone in her voice. And so by Friday afternoon she had resigned to make the short road trip back to Sam's house.

By mid afternoon Cassie had pulled up in front of Sam's house. First on her list of observations was the truck parked out in front of the house—it wasn't Jack's.

She walked to the front door and knocked hard twice before walking in.

"SAM!?" She yelled as she walked through the hall. "Sam?! Hello?" She called out as she reached the kitchen and still saw no Sam.

"Right here!" Sam came walking up from the hall—wearing a dress.

"Okay—what's the news?" She asked as Sam hugged her.

"Uhmm, well—I've met someone." Sam said beaming as she smiled.

"You "met" someone? As in you met Brad Pitt or as in…" she pulled back from Sam and saw the goofy grin on her face. "You have a boyfriend!?"

"His name is Pete."

"Pete? Whoa…wait a minute—where did you meet him?! What's he do!? Have I met him before?"

"No…but uh…he's in the bath room—he'll be out in a second."

"What?!"

"Hey, I'm Pete." Pete said as he walked up behind Sam.

Pushing Sam aside, Cassie took Pete's out reached hand.

"Hi, I'm Cassie…the last one to find out about you I'm sure."

Cassie didn't like Pete. There was something about him that made her want to--punch him.

Sam had fixed dinner and Cassie made sure to keep her comments few and short while Sam was in the room.

At last, Sam went into the kitchen and Cassie was left alone with Pete.

She stared at him for a moment and he leaned over to her. "You know, Sam told me all about the Stargate and that you are…" He couldn't bring himself to say the word.

"An alien?" She was trying to freak him out and it had worked. The look in his eyes was perfect but she had to push the envelope. "Did she tell you that I can shoot lasers out of my eyes?" His eyes grew two sizes larger and he sat back in his chair as Sam sat back in her seat. Smiling back at Sam Cassie said, "So what's for desert?"

Pete left and Cassie took the opportunity to change into her pajamas.

As she came out of the back room Sam was waiting for her. "Lasers that shoot out of your eyes?"

"I couldn't resist."

"Cassie, I like him…"

"Yeah…I noticed." Cassie didn't want to own up to it, but he wasn't as bad as she originally thought. "It's just that-" They walked into the living room and flopped on her couch as Cassie continued.

"What?" Sam was thinking that there was something really bothering her.

"I always expected you to end up with…Jack." Cassie knew this was tender ground to walk on and the expression on Sam's face changed—showing that she was right about her expectations.

"Cassie—he's my commanding officer, it's not even close to being like that."

"Right—and you run to him every time something happens because…he's your commanding officer."

"I do not."

"So when you drove to his house out of the blue when you thought he was going to die from that Asguard head sucker thing—you went there to what? Give him a weekly report?"

"Cassie—"

"Hey, if this guy makes you happy—by all means, get married and have lots of babies—"

"Cass--I'm not talking about…having babies. I'm just talking about actually having…a life."

"Ok—have you introduced him to Jack yet?"

"They met…in passing." Sam was dodging the subject as best she could.

"In _passing_?"

"Well, Osiris shot Pete and we took him to the infirmary—"

"You took him to the base?"

"He was shot Cassie, what was I supposed to do? That's not the point."

"Fine…so you have me all weekend, what are we going to do?"

Sam hesitated for a moment and then jumped from the couch. "Ice cream!"

Cassie leaned into the couch and flipped on the TV. She wanted to call Jack and ask why he hadn't done anything about this Pete guy…but her better judgment told her to stay out of it—until it was absolutely necessary.


	4. Tell Me How My Mother Died: Part Four

After meeting Pete, Cassie reluctantly returned to college without speaking her mind.

It was another six months before Cassie saw her family again—not that she minded. Being away at college had given her a newfound freedom that allowed her to find herself. It was a chance to be happy—a chance to be normal where no one knew who or what she was.

By the time Cassie made her way through her second semester so much had happened at the SGC and with her friends she had a lot of catching up to do.

Cassie had called ahead and asked Teal'c to meet her topside and escort her down the 28 levels to the SGC.

"So how's Daniel?" Teal'c had always been quiet around her. If it were anyone else she would take it as an insult—but coming from Teal'c she thought it was endearing.

"He is presently resting in the infirmary."

"Oh—I made him some cookies." Holding up the bag, she smiled as Teal'c looked down and nodded. "Chocolate Chocolate chip, hope he likes them."

"It has been my experience that Danieljackson is responsive to all consumables which contain caffeine."

She had to smile, Teal'c always had a way of saying things that made you feel—appreciated.

Once clear of the elevator—Cassie took off on her own as Teal'c returned to his duties.

She had come here to see Daniel—but something had been weighing on her mind lately, and her first stop would be to Jack's office.

The door was left ajar only an inch or two and Cassie crept up to the door and leaned over to see Jack sitting at his desk. He was leaning back in his chair while throwing a newly sharpened pencil up at the ceiling in an attempt to get it to stick.

With a soft knock on the door, Cassie walked in with the biggest grin on her face.

"Hello _General_."

Nearly falling out of his chair, Jack grabbed the edge of his desk and looked at Cassie.

"Cass!!" Standing from his chair he walked around and hugged Cassie as the small bag of cookies in her hand bumped Jack in the back. "Oh! What are these?" He asked pulling the bag out of her hand.

"Cookies—for **_Daniel_**." She took the bag back and held it behind her.

"I don't get cookies?" He asked, feigning hurt feelings as he gave her the puppy dog look.

"When you go missing for a month and wind up in the infirmary—_then_ I'll bring you cookies." Sitting down behind his desk, Cassie propped her feet up on the desk and grinned at Jack.

"Alright…outta the chair missy." Taking her hand Jack pulled her from his chair and she moved around the desk to the other chair. "So what's new?"

"Oh not much…I made the dean's list again."

"Oh wow—shouldn't there be a cake for something like that?"

"Yeah something…" She was beating around the bush and Jack could see it, he was just waiting for her to talk about what she really came here to talk about.

"Sooo, boyfriend yet?" Jack asked perking up his head.

"No time for that—"

"No time? Oh come on now…there's always time for stuff like that." Jack said, regretting his words the moment he spoke them.

"Ohhh really? Well, if that's not the pot calling the kettle black—"

"Cassie…"

"He has weird hair!" The words flew out of her mouth before she had a chance to connect it with a complete thought.

"What? Who?"

"PETE!"

The name echoed between his ears and now he was really regretting this conversation.

"I guess Sam told you…"

"She's going to marry him."

"Yeah I know, it happens." He was covering with jokes, his usual defense mechanism.

"He's weird."

"I know—the hair."

"I can't tell if it's a comb over if it's just really thin…" Cassie said leaning forward as she smiled.

"Well—everyone can't have perfect hair."

"I don't like him, Jack."

"Give him a chance."

"Don't want to—wait why are _you_ being so PRO--PETE? You can't tell me this guy doesn't make you want to…"

"Punch him in the head?"

"Yeah."

"Have you talked to Sam about this?"

"Well—I tried, but…"

"But what?"

"She didn't like my idea…"

"What idea?"

"I told her that she should marry you." She was completely serious and that's what caught Jack by surprise.

"Uh—Cass, now—uh—" Pushing back form his desk he fumbled with the papers around him.

"Yeah…that's what Sam said."

"It's not like that—"

"Oh please. Act like I don't know you Jack."

"Aren't you supposed to be delivering cookies to Daniel?"

"Jack—"

"No Cassie."

It was a battle of wills now—who could hold out longer. But O'Neill knew better than to have a stare down contest with her, after all she was just like him when it came to being stubborn.

Much to his surprise, she looked away after a moment and walked to the door. Pausing only for a moment at the door she looked back at Jack.

"You're just going to let her go? Without a fight? Without saying anything, without knowing the truth—you are going to let her marry the wrong guy."

Closing the door, Cassie walked down the hall with a grin on her face that reached her ears—_Mission accomplished._


	5. Tell Me How My Mother Died: Part Five

Cassie smiled to herself as she walked through the hall to the infirmary.

Yes she had gone against what Sam asked her not to do—but someone had to do…something…

"Hey faker." Cassie said, strolling up to Daniel's bedside and holding the bag of cookies over him. "I saved them from Jack."

"Hey Cass--you brought me cookies?" His eyes lit up as he took the bag.

"So…who shot you this time?" Sitting on the edge of his bed noticed that he wasn't hooked up to anything—this was a good sign.

"I'm okay, Doc just wants to make sure that my eyes are healed up—I'll be outta here in a little bit."

"Oh—see I thought you were all banged up again and in need of cookies…" she said reaching for the bag.

"Oh—well, my head still hurts…and cookies always help headaches…" Pulling the bag back they smiled at each other as Teal'c walked in.

"Hey T!" Cassie said as she waived him over. "So, I was thinking—we should have a party for Daniel, you know one of those 'hey you didn't die this time' parties."

"I don't know Cass—I'll have to check the mission roster." Daniel said sitting up from the bed.

"Alright—hey T, you wana hit up the commissary? I'm starving."

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The mission roster was clear and Sg-1 had the next two days off—the part was a go.

Sam was moving about the crowd with her arms full of chip bags as she ran into Cassie.

"OH—hey you, grab some of this and follow me will ya?" Taking three bags out of her arms, Cassie followed until Jack stopped in front of Sam. "Oh, sorry Sir—"

"Hey uhmm, I found someone…" Reaching behind him he pulled Pete by the arm up t o Sam. "See, I told you she was around here somewhere ordering people around…it's the promotion—gone to her head. Here Sam—give me these." Ever the gentle man, Jack took the bags from Sam and motioned for Cassie to follow him.

"Hey cutie." Pete said, kissing her on the cheek.

"Uhmm, what—I thought you had to work?"

"Oh that—Cassie called me."

"Cassie called you?"

"Yeah—and you said she didn't like me."

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Sitting out on the porch Cassie was quite pleased with herself at how thing were going.

"Heelllooo, Cassie." Jack said as he sat by her with a beer in hand.

"Hi Jack."

"So—nice party you put together here, it's been a while since we did this."

"Yeah…too bad Pete showed up."

"Cass-"

"Oh don't even think like you aren't thinking the same thing."

"I would be worried that he might not have anyone to talk to."

"Right—"

"Hey—uh, General…" The voice came from behind them—but it was unmistakably Pete.

"Oh—hey Pete." He had a way of saying his name, to the everyday passerby he was being polite—but Cassie knew better.

He sat beside them—beer in hand, not Jack's brand. "Thought I'd come out here and get some air."

"Carter delegating again?" Jack said with a smirk as he took a swing off his beer.

"Yeah, she uh—she's taken over your kitchen, no one is allowed in there."

"She probably found something to take apart."

Cassie felt the walls closing around her—and found an escape. "Well—I'm going to make sure she doesn't take the microwave apart…again."

This wasn't her intention—Cassie didn't want Jack and Pete near each other. This was bad.

Standing by the door Cassie watched as the two men spoke.

"So have you two set a date yet?" Jack asked as he took another swig.

"Uh no—not yet, Sam doesn't talk to you about—"

"No—she uh…tends to keep her personal life—personal."

"I guess that's that military thing she was talking about—"

"Yeah."

"She talks about you." Pete said in a tone that made Jack stop in mid swig.

"Oh?"

"Yeah—she says you're a good man—good friend."

"Look Pete, not that I don't thin you're a swell guy—but I don't think Sa--Carter would appreciate us talking like this." He stood and was about to leave when Pete stood up in front of him.

"Look—I'm not trying to step on any toes here—"

"Well that's what your doing." Jack walked around him and went back inside—Pete just stood there.

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No matter how hard she tried, the soda bottle top wouldn't give.

Finally frustrated to the point of searching for O'Neill's personal side arm—Sam put the bottle on the counter and saw a most interesting situation—Jack and Pete, they were talking. She watched for a moment and then moved to the doorway as she saw Jack stand abruptly and Pete stood up in his way—_were they fighting? What is this_?

Everything in her wanted to walk over there and find out what was going on—but the eyes around her would read into it and the last thing she needed was anything leading to rumors…

So there she stood in the kitchen, for the most part watching the two men in her life momentarily—facing off.

Jack walked off first, of course, and as he walked back into the house Sam turned back to the bottle on the counter.

As she struggled with it—that's when he came up behind her.

"Need a hand Carter?" Jack sat his beer on the counter and took the bottle from her.

"Oh—sure, thank you…Sir." Folding her arms over her chest, Jack stopped for a moment and looked up at her.

"You okay?"

"Yes, Sir. Why?"

"You uh—look…pissed off."

"I'm fine."

Again he tried to twist the cap and just as it loosened, Jack dropped the bottle and Sam tried to catch it—just as it spewed all over her.

Standing with the spewing bottle in her hands, Jack laughed her at as she tightened the cap.

"You're laughing at me?" Sam asked, obviously agitated about something other than the bottle.

"At you? Oh yeah—that's funny." He kept laughing as Sam looked over at the few people who had seen the commotion and were also laughing. "Hmm, so I guess you'll think this is funny too." She said, shaking the bottle and opening it so it spewed all over Jack.

He was laughing, then stood back and wiped the soda off his face and stared back at her. "I don't believe you just did that—I'm proud of you Carter, you're finally loosening up!" Grabbing another bottle from the counter, he shook it and opened it on her, drowning her in soda. This continued back and forth—each shaking their bottles and spaying the other. Sam sprayed him right in the face and he grabbed the bottle from her but she turned and wound up in his arms as he held the bottle behind her.

"Alright you win." Sam said, wiping the soda from his chin.

"You always—" Jack said as he caught sight of Pete over her shoulder—then he immediately let go of her and walked to the back of the house.

As Pete watched, Sam turned and blushed as she saw him.

"I uh—I'm going to clean up." Making an exit for the bathroom, Sam walked around the counter away from Pete and headed for the bathroom.

As Pete stood there, Daniel came up beside him.

"It's a team thing—we always spray soda on each other at parties…"

Pete turned and looked at Daniel as if to ask if he though he was stupid. "Yeah, right."

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

In the bathroom, Sam rinsed her face off with water and looked in the mirror—this was going to cause a problem.

She didn't want to go back out there, not that anything happened—but it felt like something had. Maybe that's why she felt so guilty.

She sat on the counter and leaned on her knees as three soft knocks came on the door.

"Sam, it's me." Jack whispered through the door.

Without a word, she opened the door and saw Jack standing there in a fresh t-shirt.

"I uh—figured you might need this." Pulling a gray Air Force t-shirt from behind him he held it out to her.

"Thank you."

"Can we talk a minute?" Walking into the bathroom, he closed the door behind him and looked at her awkwardly then turned away from her.

Taking the hint—Sam quickly slipped off her shirt and put on the gray t-shirt.

"Okay…" she said putting her soaked shirt in the sink to soak.

"I'm sorry if—"

"Please don't." Those words, even if he hadn't said them—struck her. In an instant tears were rolling down her face.

"Oh whoa—Sam…hey." She had turned from him but he turned her around and tucked his finger under her chin so she had to look at him. "Hey—what else is going on here?"

"Nothing. I'm fine." She pulled out of his arms and wiped at her eyes. "I'm sorry, Sir—I should get back out to the party." She pushed past him but he pulled her back again.

"Don't Sir me—can't you just talk to me?"

"NO—I can't."

"Why?"

"Because it always leads to—" She pushed away from him again—but this time he pulled her back and kissed her.

She fought against for a moment then went limp in his arms. Jack rested against the counter and pulled her with him as she began to respond to his touch. Her hands tightened at his waist as she pulled him closer with every breath.

She let go of everything, the military, their ranks, work, the SGC—everything and let him hold her, let him kiss her and touch her. But it was only an instant before reality came back with a jolt that pushed her from his arms and against the wall.

She covered her mouth and looked back at him—_what just happened?_

The three knocks at the door pulled her out of her shock.

"Sam?" Cassie called through the door. "Sam? You alright?" She asked laughing.

"Yeah—I'm fine Cassie." Sam stood from the wall and held her hand out to Jack so he wouldn't say anything. She closed her eyes for a moment and ran her hand through her hair—then opened the door and walked out into the hall, closing the door behind her.

Jack sat on the counter and leaned against the mirror behind him—_What just happened?_

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Out in the party—Daniel was still talking to Pete and Sam walked up behind him and took his hand.

"You ready to go?" Sam asked as she nodded at Daniel.

"Yeah—you okay?"

"Just tired, that last mission really took it out of me."

"Okay…Nice talking to ya Daniel."

"You too Pete." As Pete stood and fished for his keys in his pocket, Daniel shot a look over to Sam that drained the blood from her face.

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Sam drove home in her own car and Pete followed.

But once in the house, Pete didn't hold back as he did before.

"Are you in love with him?" He asked, before Sam had a chance to toss her keys on the counter.

"What?" She turned and looked at him slowly.

"Are you in love with Jack? It's a simple question—one that I would like an honest answer to."

"Pete—don't read into things."

"You let him hold you Sam."

"What?"

"You let him hold you—you push away from me when I try to."

"No I don't."

"Sam…"

"What is this?"

"You are wearing his shirt Sam!"

Looking down she realized the implication—but before she could look up to explain—Pete had walked out the front door.

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Sleeping on Jack's couch sounded better than cleaning the kitchen, so Cassie took a nosedive into the pillows as the last people left the party. Now she was content in listening to the muffled voices of Jack and Daniel as they cleaned.

"So you aren't going to talk about this at all?" Daniel asked as he dumped a stack of plates in the trashcan.

"Nothing to talk about."

"Jack…you stayed in the bathroom for over an hour—and when you came out—"

"Daniel just drop it."

"God—what did you do…Kiss her?"

Jack didn't respond.

Daniel stopped as he realized that Jack had fallen silent. Looking over to him the truth was dawning on him. "You kissed her."

"Daniel—"

"Oh my god—you kissed SAM?"

Cassie was awake and off the couch in a second. "YOU DID WHAT?"

The two men looked at Cassie as she stood by the end of the couch with her mouth hanging open. Jack had forgotten she was there.

"Cassie." Jack said, feeling the walls closing in around him.

"You kissed Sam? Ohmygod!" Cassie couldn't help but smile at this. "This is awesome!"

"WHAT?!" Daniel asked as he walked over to her and tried to quite her down.

"Daniel—this is perfect! Why are you freaking out about this?"

"Cassie…" Daniel said trying to sit her back down on the couch as Jack headed to the fridge and grabbed one of the last beers.

"Daniel—"

"Why don't you g out on the porch and grab the last of the plates?" Daniel said, pulling her up from the couch and all but pushing her out the back door.

As the door closed behind her, Cassie felt her pants pocket for her car keys—and ran around front to her car.

Inside the house…

"What does this mean?" Daniel asked as he sat across from Jack in the living room.

"Nothing."

"Nothing? Jack you-"

"I know what I did Daniel."

"Then…you are just going to—"

"Act like it didn't happen?" That was his answer…to all of Daniel's questions. Without another word Jack retreated to his room and slammed the door.

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Sitting in the dark, Sam was staring into nothing as her doorbell rang.

Her heart leapt into her chest as she stood from the couch and heard the front door open.

"Sam?" Cassie called out into the dark house.

"Cassie?"

"Hey—why is the house so dark?"

Turning on a lamp beside her, Sam reached out and touched Cassie shoulder as she stood beside her.

"No reason…"

"So uh—Jack kissed you?"

"What?"

"I heard Jack and Daniel talking…"

"OH god—Cassie…"

"So what are you going to do?"

"Nothing."

"That's what Jack said—why are you doing this?"

"Cassie—it's complicated."

"OH no, that excuse worked when I was a kid but it won't work now—if anything I think the situation is just TOO SIMPLE for you to see it."

"Oh really? And what is that?"

"You're in love with Jack."

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With Cassie back at school—Carter got ready for work the next morning.

But as soon as she reached for the front door to head out to her car she felt ill.

For the first time since she started at the SGC---SAM CALLED IN SICK.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Hey Jack." Daniel said as he walked into the briefing room and sat next to him.

"Hey."

"Uh—where's Sam?"

"She called in sick." Jack was being evasive to a fault and wouldn't look at Daniel.

"She what?" Daniel asked, perking up his ears. "Is she alright?"

"She said it felt like the flu or something."

"Are you going to go check on her?"

"No."

Daniel paused a moment and realized what was really going on. "Is she doing this because of—"

"Daniel—I have a lot of work to do, I don't have time for your babbling. Just get this stuff done and give me the damn report." Shoving the files at Daniel, Jack stood from the table and stormed off to his office.

_Oh this is going to be fun_. Standing from the table Daniel headed for his office.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

After making the awkward call to General O'Neill, Sam had kicked off her shoes and jacket and collapsed back into bed fully clothed.

All was peaceful now…all she wanted to do was sleep the day away.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"O'Neill."

"Hi Jack." Pete's voice came over the receiver like a dead weight.

"Shanahan, Carter isn't here."

"I called to talk to you."

"Why?"

"I need to talk to you."

They met at O'Malley's that afternoon. Jack changed into his civilian clothes and was well into his second beer by the time Pete walked in the front door.

Pete slid into the bench seat across form him without a word and motioned for the waitress. He ordered an ice tea.

The waitress left and came back with his drink and neither of the two men had said a word…until…

"I figured it was just some military thing that I didn't understand." Pete began as Jack continued to ignore him until he said something of interest. "They was she always needed to know where you were in the room, the odd way you too always seem to touch each other when you talk, how you would say something and her only answer would be a look. Maybe I'm blind—maybe I didn't want to see it. But I did see it—yesterday. She let you hold her."

Jack looked up from his beer and measured up the young man in front of him. This is not what he was expecting.

"What's your point Shanahan?"

"If you…tell me that you are in love with her—I'll back off."

"Excuse me?" He had Jack's attention now.

"If you are in love with her—I'll walk away."

"You're engaged to her Pete—"

"She loves you."

"Pete—"

"I'm not going to marry her because she can't have what she really wants—I don't want to be the runner up to her."

"It's not like that."

"I've already gone by the house and broke it off."

"YOU DID WHAT?" He was furious now, how could he hurt Sam like that?

"The engagement is off." With that Pete downed the last of his tea and walked out of the bar, leaving a very stunned Jack O'Neill behind.

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By 2 a.m. Sam couldn't sleep any more and was reduced to watching infomercials on TV while she dug into a pint of ice cream.

She had been weak today, let Jack O'Neill beat her. She was hiding from him and didn't even care if he knew it.

After Pete came over earlier, she had collapsed into bed again and cried herself to sleep. She couldn't remember the last time she cried over a man—oh wait, right…Jack…

She tried to fight off remembering what had happened the day before in Jack's bathroom but the taste of his lips lingered on her own and his scent was every where—or was it that she had put his shirt back on?

The knock on the door pulled her from her reverie.

"Coming!" She called out, but as she looked at her watch and realized what time it was she stopped short of the door. "Who is it?"

"It's me."

She didn't want to open the door.

She didn't want to talk to him.

She didn't want to—but she opened the door.

"You're wearing my shirt." It was the first thing that came to his mind when he saw her and it made him smile.

"Uh—what uh—"

"Yeah I know, what the hell am I doing here?" He walked pass her and closed the door as he pulled to the living room. "Why did you push away from me?" Holding her shoulders to keep her from walking away he stared her down until she spoke.

"What?"

"In the bath room…" Not that he had to remind her, but he'd play along for now.

"It was wrong—" She tried to pull out of his arms but he only held her closer.

"Really? So you didn't want to kiss me?"

"No."

"Ah Okay…and you felt nothing?" His hands loosened on her shoulders as he pulled her closer and let his fingers play along her neck.

"What?" It was enough to distract her.

"You didn't feel anything."

"No."

"Ah Okay…" He pulled her closer now and let his lips hover just above hers. "Cause if you didn't feel anything there's no harm in…" Holding her neck and waist he kissed her.

She tried to push away from him only to have him hold her tighter and fall onto the couch. He pulled her with him and now she was lying in his arms as he turned and lay beside her—she wasn't fighting him any more.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

He kissed her and she tried to pull back but all of her strength was quickly draining from her as his lips captured her own and his fingers moved through her hair.

The world disappeared.

She saw nothing but his eyes, felt only his touch and didn't even realize they were on the couch until Jack's legs entangled with hers.

Through the fog in her mind—her conscious was screaming and before Jack could get a hold on her she was off the couch and across the room pacing.

He sat up slowly and watched her. "Sam?"

Mumbling incoherently, she ignored him.

He stood from the couch and tried to touch her but she pushed him back. "WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS!?" Shoving him away from her, Jack stood there stunned.

"Sam-"

"NO! YOU—you ignore me for eight god damn years and right when I—I find someone, you…you…"

"It was out of my hands and you know that." He was trying to keep calm, trying to keep from yelling back.

"Why couldn't you just stay away? Why did you have to say anything?"

"You don't love him! **_Do you_**?"

"I could have—if you had just left it alone."

"What? What do mean?"

"What did you say to him Jack? Did you threaten to kill him if he didn't break it off with me? What? What did you say to him?"

"Is that what you think happened?!"

"Isn't it? You finally got jealous of seeing me happy with someone else?"

"This isn't about him."

"Of course it is!?"

"This has only ever been about us! It's always been us."

"Why are you doing this?"

"Doing what?"

"This! Why now? What—all the sudden you decided that you know what you want—and what? You're going to make some grand gesture and retire so we can live happily ever after!? We both know that's not going to happen. So why—why are you doing this?"

"Because...I'm in love with you." He walked the length of the room to her and pulled her into his arms as he kissed her—but it was only a moment before she pulled back and rested her head on his chest.

"God—you have no idea how long I've wanted to hear you say that."

Running his hand over her neck he said, "Want me to say it again?" But he wasn't prepared for what she was going to say next.

Pulling back even farther out of his embrace Sam became calm as she spoke, "I can never have you Jack—I know that. We are always going to be Air Force officers, you'll always be my commanding officer, and that line will always be between us—it took me a long time to realize that. And right when I get to a point where it doesn't eat me up inside and I've found someone else—you do this."

"It doesn't have to be like that." He tried to hold her again but she evaded him again.

"I'll put in for a transfer first thing tomorrow morning."

"What?"

"I can't **_do_** this any more—please, just leave."


	6. Tell Me How My Mother Died: Part Seven

She had asked him to leave and he did. Without a word and without breaking his eyes from hers—he left.

All she wanted to do was fall into his arms and stay there for all of eternity. But after eight years of trying to talk herself into not being in love with Jack O'Neill she had almost succeeded—and then he pulled this. She could marry Pete—could have married Pete. Somehow Pete saw past all her efforts at covering up her true feelings and now she was alone.

It broke her heart to tell him to leave but she had to think about things. She had to let this settle in her mind and let the fog lift.

It took her ten minutes of sitting on the couch to realize she was being stupid—and only ten seconds for her to throw on her coat and run to her car and speed down the road after the love of her life.

As she drove down the highway it began to rain and then her gas light blinked on--_Damn it!_

She pulled over to the nearest gas station and jumped out to fill her tank—only to see a hand written sign that said—PREPAY FOR GAS.

Digging into her car she found her wallet and headed into the station.

Running through the rain—she pushed through the door and nearly ran into the two men standing at the counter.

"Oh—sorry." She said walking around the two men to stand in line.

The fresh coffee brewing behind her caught her attention and she walked away from the line to pour a cup. As she picked up the coffee pot—she noticed something was wrong.

The woman to her left was standing at the end of the counter and not moving a muscle—in fact she looked terrified. A man stood to her left and he wasn't moving either.

As she felt the reality of the situation closing on her—she looked to the convex mirror above and saw the end of a weapon pointed at the woman at the counter.

Before she could move or take a breath—there was a gun pressing into the base of her neck.

"You should've kept driving lady…"

The barrel of the gun was cold on her neck and Sam's eyes darted around as he spoke. Two men approached from her left and right, both holding handguns aimed right her in a particular amateur fashion—it reminded her of a rap video she had watched with Teal'c a few days before…

"What do you want?" Trying to keep her voice soft and not harsh or commanding—Sam watched as the young man at her left. A mesh mask covered his face. Without a word he began to feel under her coat and around her waist.

"Oh lookie here…" pulling out her wallet from her coat pocket the young man opened it and began to thumb through the contents.

As he walked away with her wallet in hand—All Sam could think was "Please don't let him find my military ID."

"Alright lady! Over here!" The man behind her took swung her around by her coat and slammed her down to the floor beside the two other people.

The younger man was aiming his weapon at the three of them and Sam looked over at the old woman and saw that her hands were shaking. Placing her hands over the woman's, Sam smiled at her and held her hand.

"What do you want?" Sam called out to the older man by the front counter.

"NO TALKING!" The younger man yelled as he jammed the barrel of his weapon into Sam's throat.

"Okay! Okay, I'm sorry—look, I'm just trying to figure out what you want."

"Why so you can help!?" He thrust the gun deeper in her throat. "SHUT UP! Talk again and I'll blow your head off lady!"

As the young man stood back from her, Sam had to see the irony of the situation—how many times had she taken out twice as many Jaffa? How many times had she been held at gunpoint and easily taken the upper hand—what was different here? Oh yeah—she wasn't armed.

"DANNY!!!!" The younger man instantly became hysterical as a car pulled up outside the station—a police car.

"Alright—shut up!" The older man, Danny, snatched up the younger boy and put his weapon in the back of his pants as the policeman walked into the station…

Jack had began driving home from Sam's house but took a de-tour to the base. Being alone in his house was the last thing he needed right now.

Walter brought him a cup of coffee when he noticed his office door was open—that was almost an hour ago and Jack was still leaning back in his chair staring up at the ceiling.

Tilting his head to the side he looked at the clock on the wall—0345, Daniel should be here soon…

The policeman paid for gas and walked back out to his car.

There had to be a way to get his attention—there had to be a way she could do something.

Then something happened. The older man, Danny, ran out the front door and fired three shots. Seconds later he ran back into the station.

"We gotta get out of here! He was on his radio!"

The four men began running around rapidly and the clerk was fumbling for something behind the counter—then the sirens came.

The police station was only two blocks from here—guess the bad guys didn't know that.

Before they could get out the front door the parking lot outside was filled with police cars.

Danny grabbed the broom from behind the counter and shoved it through the door handles before he looked back to his hostages, "Looks like we're staying people."

Jack was still in his civilian clothes when Daniel walked into his office and noticed that he had fallen asleep in his chair. Walking to his side Jack touched his shoulder.

"Jack?"

In an instant Jack was jumping out of his seat and looking at Daniel as though he'd been shot.

"Daniel—what are you doing here?"

"It's uh—8 o'clock Jack, did you spend the night here?"

"For the most part."

"Hmm—Have you seen Sam? We were supposed to meet this morning to go over some things…"

Rubbing his eyes Jack headed out into the hall as Daniel followed him. "No—haven't seen her since…nope—haven't seen her."

Daniel stopped and watched Jack a moment—something was different.

"Jack?"

Looking to his side, Jack noticed Daniel wasn't there and turned back. "Daniel."

"Has something happened?"

"Like what?"

"Nothing—just uh…never mind. You hungry?"

"Nah—I'm going to go change and I'll meet you for the morning briefing."

Jack walked straight to the locker room and his cell phone was already ringing in his locker.

"O'Neill."

The voice that came back was not the one he was expecting.

"Jack? It's Cassie—have you talked to Sam today?"

"No I haven't."

"I called the house and her cell phone and there was no answer—I even called her office line that I'm not supposed to use and there was no answer."

"Okay Cass—we're about to meet for out morning…thing—I'll tell her to call you." He wasn't about to tell Cassie—but now he was worried, it wasn't like Sam to be unreachable.

It was official—Sam was in the middle of a stand off.

Why was it times like this that she didn't carry her side arm? Where were her instincts now? How had she been caught like this? IT WAS JACK'S FAULT.

The police had been outside for almost half an hour now—this should be on the news soon…then they would know.

Jack was still in his office when Daniel came running in.

"JACK!"

"What?"

"It's Sam—come on." Waiving his hand for Jack to follow—Jack dropped the paper in his hand and followed Daniel.

In the briefing room, Teal'c was already watching the broadcast.

The reporter said it all.

Four armed men.

Three hostages.

One policeman dead.

And Sam's car still parked at the pump.

Jack ran from the briefing room without a word.

He was changed and running for the elevator as Daniel came running up behind him.

"Jack! Jack what are you going to do!?" Daniel asked as he walked into the elevator with him. As the doors began to close Teal'c pulled back the doors and stood beside Daniel. Without a word, Teal'c pulled a beanie out of his pocket and pulled it down tight over the emblem on his forehead.

Two hours later.

The sun was hidden behind think clouds as Jack flew down the interstate. Ignoring the speed limit and any surrounding vehicles, Jack pulled off onto the exit that led to the gas station.

The road was blocked for a mile in every direction from the station—and Jack had to pull out the "national security" card to get pass the police line.

The entire station was surrounded.

Jack stopped the truck behind all the police cars and headed for the man in charge before Daniel and Teal'c could open their doors.

Turning back to Teal'c, Daniel pulled on his hat and pushed up his glasses.

"This is going to be bad."

"O'Neill is conflicted DanielJackson."

"Yeah—that's putting it lightly. Come on, let's go make sure he doesn't hit anyone."

"I need to speak to the man in charge." Jack moved through the crowd and tried to avoid maiming any of the young officers that attempted to block his path.

"Who are you?" The chief pulled Jack back by his shoulder and pushed him up against the car.

"General Jack O'Neill, U.S. Air Force, one of my people is in there." Pulling out his ID Jack tried to pull himself together enough to spill out his credentials.

"Who is it?"

"Colonel Samantha Carter."

"Look, General, I can't have you here. You need to get back behind the line—these guys are unpredictable at best and I can't risk—"

"I can help you—"

"Sir—I appreciate it really--and I understand that you are concerned for her—but if you don't leave I'll have you escorted out of the area."

Danny paced back and forth in front of Sam and the other two hostages as the other three men stood father to the back to the store.

The phone rang at the counter and Danny slammed his hand over it.

"Talk to them!" The younger boy yelled out.

"No, all they want is a vantage point so they can take a shot. I'm not giving them an edge."

"If you don't talk to them—they will storm this place." Sam was trying to lend information—but Danny only responded by shoving the barrel of his gun into her chest.

"Another word—and I'll put a bullet in you chest."

Jack walked behind the police cars and met Daniel and Teal'c as they stood…waiting.

"Anything?" Daniel asked as he leaned against a near by police car.

There was no answer.

"O'Neill, Colonel Carter is experienced in situations such as these. There should be no doubt the she will prevail."

Jack was still looking down at the ground. The voices in his head drowned out the voice of his friends. Voices that were blaming him. Telling him that if she died here it would be on his shoulders.

"Jack—maybe we should just head back to—"

"I'm not leaving Daniel." He voice was like thunder and silenced Daniel before he could finish. "I'm not leaving her here."

Jack pushed from the car and began walking back to the front—Daniel took his arm and tried to pull him back, only to have Jack shove him against the car by his throat.

"Jack!" Daniel fought back as much as he could until Teal'c took Jack's arm and pulled him back.

"You don't understand." Jack said after a moment.

"Don't understand what?" Daniel stood from the car and rubbed his throat that was now red.

"It's my fault. She was coming after me." He pulled his coat up on his shoulders and headed back to the front of the police cars.

At the front of the cars, Chief Harper spoke into the bullhorn as he tried to talk with the gunmen.

The deputy saw Jack first and headed him off—but he only had to say one thing to keep the policemen at bay and assure his spot on the front line.

"Gentlemen—you can argue all you want but in the end I'll just go call the president and he'll tell you the same thing I'm telling you—I NEED TO BE HERE."

After trying to contact them for 30 minutes when the door opened and a man in his late twenties came half way out the door—holding a gun to Carter's head as he used her as a shield.

Jack's heart jumped into his throat when he saw the fear in Carter's eyes—his first instinct was to rush the gunman and try to get Carter away from him, but the distance was too far.

"NO—TAKE ME."

The gunman tried to pull the old woman to her feet but Carter stood and took her place. She had to get a look outside and see what she was really up against.

The door opened and she felt the cold barrel of the gun against her neck, "Try to run and I'll shoot."

The door opened and after searching through the crowd of policemen before her—her eyes locked with his. Those eyes, those familiar eyes she had seen everyday for the last eight years were now her only hope.

She could feel his strength the moment their eyes locked and all the anger and fear that paralyzed her only and hour before suddenly drained from her and before she knew it Danny was pulling her back into the station.

As the door closed, Jack leaned against the car before him and let out a breath he didn't know he was holding in.

"Is that your girl?" The young deputy asked.

"What?" Jack asked as he cleared from his own thoughts.

"The woman that was with the guy—is she yours?"

"Yeah…that was Sam."

She was still lost in his eyes when Danny threw her back to the floor.

"Well little lady you seem to be pretty calm—let me guess you're one of those chicks that don't like men to take charge…"

The look in his eyes sent chills down her spine as he walked away.

She couldn't help but look back to the door—he was just on the other side…he would save her.

Two hours had passed.

Still three hostages.

Three gunmen.

57 trigger fingers aimed at the station.

And one Jack O'Neill that was just about to his breaking point.

"They're sending out the hostages." The chief spoke clearly as he turned to Jack and rested his hand on his shoulder. "Maybe this won't end as bad as I thought is would."

He dare not speak—the next few moments could be her end—and his.

The doors opened and an old woman and man walked out slowly—then the door shut.

"_OH NO."_

"He's keeping her." Jack said as he looked over to the chief.

"Okay—two down, one to go."

"I want a helicopter!" Danny screamed into the phone before slamming it down.

Ten minutes of negotiating only showed that Danny and his group truly hadn't done this before.

The four gunmen continued in an on going screaming match and left Carter leaning by the counter.

She was close to the door.

They were a good five feet from her now.

If she ran.

If she ran fast.

She could make it to the door.

Jack kneeled behind the squad car as the Sheriff spoke over the bullhorn for the men to pick up the phone once again.

But all Jack could see was Sam's eyes—she was terrified.

There had to be something he could do.

All his years in black ops weren't for nothing.

There had to be a way to get in there.

There had to be a way to save her.

"I know what you're thinking—don't." The deputy's voice broke Jack from his thoughts and snapped his attention to him.

"What?"

"Just let us handle this—doing something stupid won't help her any."

"I know."

The young deputy walked back to his car and left Jack staring at the station…

She moved slowly across the tile and kept her eyes locked on the men as they screamed.

The door was a foot away.

She could make it.

Danny grabbed one of the younger men and pushed him back into a shelf.

As they stood around him—she jumped to her feet and ran for the door.

He had been staring at the door for what seemed an eternity when he saw the flash of blonde hair through the glass door.

He blinked.

Was this real?

She's running for the door.

The door opened and there she was.

Time had slowed to a heartbeat.

As she cleared the door Jack jumped over the hood of the car and was running toward her.

He could hear the policemen yelling behind him but their voices mixed together.

All he could see was Sam.

All he could hear was her heartbeat.

The gunshots rang out and echoed through his ears before he saw their impact.

Sam fell to the ground as though she were a marionette whose strings had been cut.

Jack fell to the ground at her side and turned her over to her back.

His back to the station now, all he could see was the policemen as they ran towards him with their weapons drawn.

As they raised their weapons, Jack surrounded Sam with his arms as he covered her with his body.

Gunfire rang out all around him.

Bullets flying pass him as they connected with the gunmen behind him.

What seemed like an eternity passed in a few seconds.

Jack pulled Sam into his arms again.

Blood covered her entire shoulder and stomach.

The two wounds in her shoulder and abdomen was enough to render Sam unconscious.

The crowd of men surrounded them as the gunmen were secured. Jack held Sam steady as the EMT's strapped her into a backboard.

Daniel and Teal'c parted the crowed as they ran to Jack side. As the EMT's picked up Sam on the stretcher, Daniel pulled Jack to his feet. "Is she alright?"

Jack didn't answer. He only ran to the ambulance as they loaded Sam.

"Whoa!" One of the EMT's yelled as he pushed Jack back from the door. "WHO ARE YOU?"

"I'm with her!" Jack yelled back.

"Are you the husband!?"

Daniel and Teal'c ran up behind him as he looked away for a moment and then back up to the EMT. "YES I AM!"


	7. Tell Me How My Mother Died: The End

The ambulance doors slammed shut and the driver pulled out of the parking lot and onto the main road.

The world became blurry around Jack. He could hear the EMT at his side calling out Sam's injuries into his radio and he could hear the sirens of the ambulance as it weaved through the traffic but all he could see was Sam. Her pale face was covered in her own blood—a sight he had seen before but somehow…this time it was different.

He longed to pull her into his arms and hold her, to tell her that she was going to be okay and that he would protect her—save her as he always did.

The EMT leaned over her chest and Jack looked down at her feet in front of him. This was something he rarely saw. Samantha Carter's bare legs. Her knee was scraped and her calf was half covered in blood. But beyond the injuries and dried blood he saw something that made his heart beat again. He blinked hard and focused on the tiny specks on her legs that spread down to her ankles and disappeared into her shoes.

His lips turned up into an awkward smile as he reached out and ran his fingers along her ankle—who knew Sam had freckles?

XXX

Daniel ran back to Jack's truck with Teal'c before the ambulance had taken off.

As luck would have it—Jack was in such a rush when they first got there that he had left his keys in the truck.

As Daniel weaved in and out of traffic, Teal'c sat silently in the passenger seat.

The events of the day ran through Daniel's mind over and over until his frustration exploded through his fist as he punched the steering wheel.

"DanielJackson." Teal'c knew this was all he had to say to calm his young friend.

"I know Teal'c—I know."

XXX

As the doctor's pulled Sam out of the ambulance, Jack came back into the world and jumped from the ambulance as Sam disappeared through the swinging doors of the ER.

Before he knew it Jack was sitting in a hard plastic chair down the hall from the ER and Daniel and Teal'c were walking towards him.

"Jack?" Daniel asked as he stood before him.

"She's uh…they're working on her." He said, still looking down at his fingers as he stared into them as though they held the mysteries of the universe.

"Have they said anything?"

"She's lost a lot of blood," he said trailing off as Daniel knelt down before him.

"I'll go see if I can get an up date—why don't you go to the bathroom with Teal'c and get cleaned up?"

"Cleaned up?" Jack asked as he looked down at his shirt—he hadn't noticed until then that he was covered in Sam's blood.

"Come on." Daniel said as he pulled Jack to his feet.

XXX

The young woman at the nurse's station smiled as Daniel approached.

"Hi, I'm trying to get some information on a patient."

"Are you a relative?" She asked, as though it were the simplest question in the world. If she only knew what the question meant to him—of course he and Sam were family, she was a part of the only family he had ever known.

"Yes, my sister—Samantha Carter, she came in with a gunshot wound."

"Oh yes." The nurse said with clear recollection. "They took her right into surgery, it might be a while before they are able to take a break."

"Can you let me—"

"As soon as the Doc walks through that door I'll let you know."

"Thank you." With a short smile, Daniel turned back to the chairs when the young girl called after him.

"Uhmm—Sir?" She asked as she walked around the corner.

"Yeah?" He asked, turning around.

"There's a cafeteria two floors down if you want something—it closes in about an hour."

"Thanks, but I don't think we'll be leaving this hallway…"

"Understandable—your friend, the other man…is he alright? I can get him a scrubby shirt to put on if you want."

"Thank you, but—he's not really uh…"

With a passing sympathetic smile the young girl turned back to her counter.

X X X

Two hours later and Jack O'Neill was sitting in the same plastic chair between Daniel and Teal'c.

There hadn't been a word spoken between them since Jack emerged from the bathroom and slumped into the chair.

Visiting hours came and went.

The cafeteria closed and even though Jack could hear his stomach rumbling he couldn't move his body, let alone look up from his hands.

As Jack let his vision blur he let the past surround him—and then he was no longer sitting outside the ER as Sam fought for her life. He was sitting in the briefing room as Captain Sam Carter walked into the room…

He hadn't thought about that day in years but it was still crystal clear in his memory.

How her hair and skin glimmered in the shadows as she walked to the end of the table—that was the first time he saw her clearly, the first time she made his heart skip a beat.

He had laughed at her then. Partly because she was so eager to prove herself to him and everyone she came in contact with but mostly because she was so damn cute.

Normally he wouldn't even think of a fellow officer as "cute", but that is just what she was. She was the cute little sister that buzzed around him, always wanting to play with the boys.

But that was then.

He didn't know when it actually happened. But some how, in the last ten years or so he had stopped seeing her as a little sister. She had become his equal. She had proven herself beyond the geeky scientist he first saw her to be. She became a light in his life. A bright shining figure that kept his world turning.

And then, quite unexpectedly—he had fallen in love with her.

And every day was a battle against his heart.

A battle that he always knew he would loose.

And that's when it happened—or rather when "he" happened. That morning in the elevator was frozen in his mind. She was humming and he took the opportunity to crack a joke but it had backfired and with her reply she had crushed his entire world with out even knowing it.

Sam had found someone else.

After she told him about Pete, he made the decision to stay clear of her unless it was business. But a part of him wouldn't give her up. After all, she was his first. Even if it wasn't romantically—she was his. She belonged to him. It was an unspoken agreement between them—she belonged to him.

But now—she had gone against that agreement.

Maybe he shouldn't have let it go "unspoken" for so long. He gave up after that and had completely washed all thoughts of Sam Carter from his mind.

But then Janet died and she was suddenly standing in front of him fighting back tears and she told him that she had nearly died when she thought he was dead.

Before he knew it she was in his arms and clinging to him for dear life.

He held her just as tight until she pulled back and apologized for soaking his shirt with her tears. And just as she had found her way into his arms she left and disappeared down the hall.

He wanted to go after her then.

But of course he didn't. He was the proper military officer—commanding officer, and let his second in command walk away.

After that…well…things got complicated and he managed to hold it all in until that day at the picnic…and Pete…the soda…and he kissed her.

And then he screwed up and she came after him—and now she was about to die because of him. What kinda sick justice is that?

The footsteps echoing down the hall pulled him from his memory but he still held onto her smiling face as Daniel pulled back on his shoulder.

"Jack…the doctor is here…"

XXX

The doctor's words hit Jack like a truck and long after he had walked back into the ER—Jack still stood in the middle of the hall with Daniel at his side.

Daniel was expecting a reaction. Anything besides what Jack was doing-which was nothing.

Teal'c stood on Jack's other side watching Jack for any sign that he had heard the doctor. But he had yet to move.

XXX

All he could see were her eyes hovering so close to his own that if he reached out his fingers would find her waist. But no matter how much he tried to raise his hands to touch her, he couldn't move a muscle.

She was taunting him, smiling and hovering just far enough away from him that he couldn't touch her.

As her eyes glimmered in the light, darkness surrounded her and soon her eyes were all that shown through the darkness—and then they too gave way to the darkness of his soul.

XXX

Before Daniel could reach out for his arm—Jack turned and walked to the end of the hall, kicking the door open before walking out into the light of day.

He didn't know where he was walking, only that he couldn't stand in that hallway any longer.

His feet carried him to the far corner of the building where a small grassy area had been turned into a makeshift sitting area, complete with a bench and a shady tree.

But Jack O'Neill's knees gave out long before he reached the bench and settled for falling to his knees in the shade of the tree as his world came crashing down around him—Sam was going to die.

It took every ounce of his military training and stubborn Irish blood to hold back the onslaught of emotion that threatened to unravel his very soul.

For a moment he found peace and instead of looking to the heavens, he only shut his eyes and braced his hand against his legs.

"I'm not a good man." He said through the lump in his throat. "I know that I have no right to ask anything of you. I know that if there is a heaven I've haven't got a chance in hell of makin it to the gates—but…" The words stuck in his throat and he swallowed hard before trying to speak again. "Any good part of me…anything worthy and honorable…came from that woman. I know that I don't deserve it—I've done things to her that…I'll probably burn in hell for." Speaking was easier now and as he spoke Jack's eyes found their way upward as he looked at the sun light through the tree branches above him. "I need her. Even if I can't have her—I need her here. I don't care if she marries Pete—just don't take her yet…please?"

As Jack knelt under the tree, Daniel slumped into a chair beside Teal'c and waited for another update from the doctors.

In the emergency room the doctor's hands moved over Sam Carter's body in a fluid movement, each pair of hands working with the next to control the damage to her body.

Beyond the movements of the doctor's and their voices calling out over her—Sam was battling her own war of life and death.

Gunshots rang through her ears as Jack ran toward her.

Then she was on the ground. The damp pavement of the parking lot pressed into her legs as Jack covered her with his body. For a moment she buried her face into his shoulder as his weight held her down. The gunshots rang through her ears as a searing pain in her side tore through her body—with the last of her strength she gripped Jack's shirt in her hands and then all went dark.

The darkness that surrounded her now was peaceful and silent. As though standing in a room with the lights out Sam stood motionless with her eyes closed.

"Sam…" The soft voice filtered around her and brought her to a slow waking state as she opened her eyes and saw the dim light coming towards her through the darkness. "It's alright Sam…don't be afraid…"

The light grew brighter as it neared her.

But Sam wasn't afraid and didn't shield her eyes from it.

As the light shown upon her shoulders a hand reached out from the glow and took her hand.

As Sam looked down to the hand that was now holding hers, the light faded and what was a glowing light a moment before was now a soft hand that felt familiar in her own.

Lifting her eyes to the sparkling blue crystals that beamed back at her Sam instantly came out of her daze as she embraced her long lost friend—Janet Frazier.

Tears stung at her eyes as Sam clung to Janet.

"Oh how I have missed you." Janet said as she smoothed down Sam's hair.

"Oh my god, how is this possible?" Sam asked, standing back from Janet she ran her fingers over her friend's hair and chin then rested her hands on her shoulders just to assure her existence.

"I can't stay—I just came to sit with you."

"Sit with me? What do you mean?"

"Sam…do you remember what's happened?"

"What are you talking about?"

"You were shot Sam. You're in the hospital right now."

"I don't remember that."

"I know honey. Don't be scared, you aren't alone. Daniel and Teal'c are right outside the room waiting for you."

"Where's Jack?"

Janet smiled softly at Sam as she spoke, "It's about time you started calling him that."

"A few things have happened." Sam said awkwardly.

"I know- I've seen everything."

"Everything?"

"Yes, and don't worry—you are doing fine."

"Janet…I don't understand."

Reaching for her shoulder, Janet steadied her friend as she spoke. "You aren't supposed to understand Sam. I didn't want you to be here alone."

"Where is here?"

"Think of it as a waiting room."

"I'm dying!"

"Oh no…you are far from that."

"Then where is this place?"

"Within you, all around you—Sam there isn't much time—"

"What? No!"

"Sam, listen to me." Holding her shoulders once again, Janet tried to speak. "Sam—"

"I want to stay—"

"You can't Sam—not here."

"There's so much I have to tell you—"

"Sam—I already know." Pulling her into her arms for the last time, Janet whispered into her ear as she began to fade away, "Tell Cassie I love her."

Janet faded from her arms before she could call out to her and for a moment the darkness surrounded her.

The beeping came softly at first, then louder and louder as she felt her soul being pulled from the darkness and released back into the world.

Jumbled, incoherent voices over powered the beeping and a rush of pain hit her as Sam Carter returned to the waking world.

The blinding light of the emergency room stung her eyes as a jolt of electricity brought her back to life.

"She's back!" A nurse called out to the doctor. "I have a steady pulse."

The first figure that Sam focused on was the doctor that was leaning over her.

"Hello there, you gave us quite a scare." The young doctor brushed the hair from Sam's face and looked over to the nurse that waited at the door. "Tell them she's pulled through—she should be fine."

Daniel gave Jack's shoulder a gentle squeeze as he stood beside him.

"Jack…" Daniel said as he pulled at his shoulder to get his attention.

"She's dead…isn't she?"

"NO—actually, she's awake and asking for you." Jack was to his feet and holding on to Daniel's shoulder before Daniel could take a step back. Jack's eyes met Daniel's and nothing needed to be said. Daniel held his arm and nodded. "She's fine—come on."

The hall seemed endless as he ran through the door and around the corner to the room they had taken Sam. His heart racing, he stopped before the door and let his thoughts catch up with him as he glanced up. "Thank you." Barely able to speak, Jack whispered his thanks to whatever force had brought her back to him.

He turned the doorknob and walked in as Daniel stayed out in the hall and closed the door as Jack walked to Sam's bedside.

Her eyes closed and all color drained from her face—Jack's heart had settled nicely in his throat until Sam's eyes fluttered open and looked his way.

"Hey…" Jack said, sitting in the chair next to her bed.

"This is a first for you."

"What?"

"You weren't there when I woke up."

Her attempt at a joke worked and every bit of Jack finally relaxed as he moved to sit on the bed next to her. "It won't happen again." Pulling her hand into his he reached out and ran the length of her hairline with his index finger.

The room fell silent as Jack smiled into her eyes. It was so simple and yet it terrified Jack at the same time. He'd never been able to do this before, just look at her and see her, Sam not Lt. Colonel Carter or Doctor Carter—just Sam, his beautiful Sam.

There was so much to be said and Sam was about to burst—until Jack leaned in and kissed her softly. That's when she realized something for the very first time—he already knew.

EPILOGUE…

The rainy Colorado afternoon had kept Cassie house bound at Jack's all afternoon. This wouldn't be such an imposition except Jack had "went to the store" about three hours ago and had yet to return—let alone answer his cell phone.

She thought about calling the base and reporting him missing—but that would just be mean. She knew where he was.

As she watched the last tape of Jack's Simpson's collection the phone rang.

"Casa de O'Neill…how may I help you?"

"Hey kiddo." Jack's voice was odd…something in the way he said kiddo made Cassie look down at the receiver.

"Jack?"

"Hey, I'm coming to get you—get dressed." Before she could reply he hung up.

"Ookaaayy…" Hanging up the phone Cassie looked again to the receiver before running to the spare room and changing her clothes.

Just as she pulled on her baseball cap over her forehead, the front door opened and Jack called out.

"Let's go!" He said, still standing in the doorway.

"Coming!" Running to the front door she stopped when she saw the look on Jack's face. "What's up with you?"

"Nothing—in the truck."

They drove silent for a moment when Jack broke the silence by reaching into the glove box and handing Cassie a full sized envelope. "Open it."

"What—"

"Just read it…"

Opening the envelope slowly Cassie watched the sides of Jack's lips turn up into a smile. Then she looked down and burst into a high pitched screamed after reading the first paragraph.

"YOU—YOU—Ohmygod!" Holding the paper Cassie looked to the paper and then to Jack as she continued to scream.

"Yeah…I did…"

"So that means…"

"Yeah…we're going to the jewelry store."

Cassie folded the paper and slid it in with the card already in the envelope and then looked at Jack as he wrapped the small box.

"She's going to know what that is…you should put it in a bigger box."

"I don't care…she'll know what it is when she opens it." Jack said as he tried to tie the ribbon around the top.

"Why didn't you let the lady at the store do that?" Cassie asked as she pressed her finger down so he could tie it.

"Just seal the envelope will ya?" Jack said as he swatted Cassie's hands away.

Sitting back Cassie couldn't help but smile as Jack—he was so nervous.

"Alright—I'm going to the dorms…" Cassie said as she pushed the envelope across the table to Jack.

"Okay…" He said as she stood and pulled on her coat. "And I mean it—**no phone calls, **not to Daniel, Teal'c, General Hammond, Walter or anyone else that works at the base."

"What about my diary? Can I write it down in my diary?" Cassie asked with a smile that consumed her face.

"Fine…write it in your diary."

With the nod of her head Cassie turned for the door but stopped in the doorway and turned back to Jack. "Hey Jack…"

"Yeah?" He said, taking a moment to stare at the ring box before him before looking up at her.

"She's going to say yes."

As Cassie drove down the road she tried to avoid her cell phone. She played with the radio and tried to play air guitar but nothing worked…so as she pulled on to the on ramp for the highway she picked up her cell phone and dialed Daniel's house number.

"Daniel…hi…whatcha doin?"

Sitting in the dinner with her chocolate milkshake, Cassie looked out the foggy window as she waited for Daniel to pull into the parking lot—and there he was.

Watching Daniel run through the muddy parking lot, Cassie felt a lump growing in her throat…_Jack is sooo going to kill me for this…_

Walking up to the booth, Daniel shook the water from his coat and sat across from Cassie who was now grinning like the cat who got the canary.

"Okay, I'm here…" Daniel said plopping down in the seat and raising his eyes brows at the fresh cup of coffee before him. "What is soooooo important?" He asked as he picked up the cup and raised it to his lips.

"Jack is going to ask Sam to marry him."

Daniel paused for a heart beat and nearly spit his mouthful of coffee on Cassie as his eyes shot open. Clasping his hand over his mouth—he swallowed and shook his head as he set the cup down and slowly looked up at Cassie. "Oh really?"

"Uh hmm."

"I uh…" Daniel was trying to let this process before he made an actual reaction.

Cassie nodded as he continued to stutter. "That's all you are going to say?"

"I don't really know what to say Cassie." He said, finally relaxing and resting his elbows on the table.

"You don't know what to say? How about…cool… neat…it's about time…I'd even settle for a WOW."

"Well…it's just that…" Looking down at the table, Daniel tried to organize his thoughts before he spoke.

Cassie's eyes shot open as he averted her gaze, "OH MY GOD! YOU KNEW?" Cassie shouted as she jumped forward and grabbed Daniel's arm.

Startled, Daniel looked up at her. "Well…I didn't know he was going to do it today…"

"How in the world did you find out before _ME_?" She asked, sitting back in her seat as Daniel took on a whole new role in her eyes.

"Well…I was at the base when you called…and uh…Jack kinda…left a copy of his resignation up on his computer screen…"

"And you just happened to see it?" Cassie said covering her bottom lip with her finger.

"Yeah…pretty much." He said taking another sip from his coffee.

Propping her chin in her palm Cassie smiled over at Daniel. "Sooo…you expected this then?"

Squinting his eyes Daniel thought a moment, "I wouldn't say expected…that's too strong a word. I would say…that I …saw the signs…"

"Saw the signs? What's that mean?"

"I've known them for a long time…I just…saw it that's all…"

"You aren't going to give me any type of description here are you?" Cassie said realizing her defeat. Daniel only raised his eyes brows at her for a reply and Cassie grumbled under her breath. "Jack never talks to me about this—all these years I've told him to do something about it and I thought I was the only one who ever saw anything because he always denied it right into the ground…"

As she trailed off Daniel touched her elbow to get her attention, "Me thinks he doth protest too much." The sides of his mouth turned up in a devilish grin as Cassie got his meaning.

"You're smarter than you look Daniel…" Cassie said as she stood and grabbed her coat.

"What! Cassie I'm like the smartest person you know!" Daniel said, completely flabbergasted at her comment.

"No you aren't." She said, turning around to Daniel with the biggest grin on her face. "Sam is."

"Ohh!" He said wrapping his arm around her neck as they walked to the door. "Okay…she's a little smarter than me."

Samantha Carter sat in her house reading on the dreary rainy day that had talked her out of going to the base to catch up on her work. The last few weeks had been nothing short of torture for her since General O'Neill flat out ordered her to stay away from the base. So far she had managed to follow the order…

But she hadn't seen him since the other night…

He had left the base early and picked her up for dinner.

It was then, over steaks and beer that he had simply looked up into her eyes and told her he loved her. As though he were asking for the salt…

She had frozen and was unable to speak for about five minutes until Jack got up and stood beside her and kissed her.

There was something in his eyes that night…when he looked at her…that look…when he had decided something…it was clear…and now it was driving her nuts. But she did as she was told and stayed home—and read her book.

So when the silence of the house was shattered by and loud knock at her front door—it was no wonder she nearly spilled her coffee and fell off the couch.

Gathering her self together and setting her book face down on the coffee table, Sam pulled on her long sweater and headed for the door.

"Who is it?" She asked before opening the door.

"It's me." The voice from the other side of the door said.

She was fully awake now, and recognized the voice immediately.

Running her fingers through her hair, Sam mentally noted that she was still in her pajamas and pulled her sweater closed before opening the door.

His hand behind his back, Jack smiled as a Sam stood before him—a complete mess. Her hair was wavy from not being blown dried and styled, she was in her pajamas and she hadn't a stitch of makeup on…_perfect_.

Tilting his head to the side Jack squinted his eyes at her as she bit her lip—awkward silence.

"Hi." He said softly as he stepped up into the doorway and leaned down to lay a soft kiss on her forehead. "Whatcha doin?" The question was rhetorical and he didn't wait for an answer before walking into the house.

Closing the door, Sam smiled and walked after him. He had made his way to the living room, took off his coat, set it in the chair and sat down on the couch when Sam came up behind him. She paused at the end of the couch a moment and then tried to walk pass his legs to the other end of the couch—but Jack caught her leg behind the knee and tripped her enough so she landed with her knee on his legs.

Catching herself, Sam braced her hands on his shoulders and came face to face with the sly grin on Jack's face.

"Yes? Can I help you?" She said, trying to cover the smile playing across her lips by biting her bottom lip.

Reaching behind him, Jack pulled out the envelope and held it between them.

Sam looked awkwardly at the envelope that hovered near her lips and slid her knee to the couch as she sat beside him and let her left leg hang over Jack's knee.

"What's this?" She asked as she pulled the envelope open and looked at Jack over the top of the paper.

"Just open it." He said as he leaned back and rested his arm behind her as she pulled the paper out of the envelope…

"And they lived happily ever after…" Cassie said as she reached and turned out the light.

"WHAT?" Janie yelled as she turned the light back on and glared up at Cassie as she walked to the door. "Oh no, you can't stop there! What happened after she opened the envelope!" The young girl screamed as she jumped to the end of her bed.

"You know what happened after that Janie…they made YOU!" Cassie said as she kept walking towards the door.

"Aunt Cassie! You aren't being fair! You have to finish the story!" Janie yelled again. This time, Cassie walked back and sat on the end of the bed and sighed as she looked at her watched.

"You promise to actually go to sleep this time? No more glasses of water or monsters under the bed…" Cassie said as she folded her legs on the bed and Janie crawled in front of her in anticipation of the story she had been listening to for the last hour.

"Alright…alright…where was I?"

Janie pulled her legs into her chest and wrapped her arms around her legs as she beamed up at her aunt. "The envelope…she was about to open the envelope…"

"Okay…the envelope…"

Sam opened the paper slowly and read over the first paragraph. She tried to keep her lips from curling up…tried to keep her heart from beating right out of her chest…tried to keep her knee from bouncing on Jack's leg…tried to keep the blood from rushing to her face—but it was impossible.

Jack couldn't help but smile. She was so cute. Her face was bright red, her knee was bouncing on his and her hands were trembling as she held the paper.

"Sam?" He asked, reaching out and pulling her arm down slowly to reveal the childish grin on her face.

Meeting his eyes, she bit her bottom lip and tried to keep her hands from shaking and she set the paper down on the table.

"I thought we weren't going to make any decisions about this yet." She said sitting back, trying her best to keep her composure—when all she really wanted to do was jump into his arms and never let go.

"Yeah we said that but..." Trailing off, Jack picked up her hand in his and let her fingers slip into his. "I want to touch you when there's someone else in the room, I want to kiss you in broad daylight and I don't want to spend another night sleeping without in my arms." Pulling her into his arms, she sat on his legs as he kissed her.

"I didn't want you to have to retire…" She said pulling back a little as she looked down at him.

"I'm thinking of it as an even trade…"

"Oh really?"

"Yeah." Another gentle kiss on her lips and Jack pulled back. "I got something for you today."

"For me?" She asked, somewhat suspicious. "Let me guess—A fishing pole?"

Moving from under her Jack stood from the couch. "Nooo, it's better than a fishing pole." Picking up his coat he carried it back as he knelt on the floor before her and fished around in his pocket.

Completely oblivious to the way he was kneeling, Sam sat forward on the couch and looked down as he looked back up at her.

"Now…uh—close your eyes."

She would have questioned it—but Jack never tried to surprise her before, so she gave in and closed her eyes.

Taking a moment, Jack took a long slow breath before he pulled the ring box from his coat pocket and opened it right in front of her closed eyes.

"Alright, open." He said softly.

Her eyes opened slowly and locked onto the ring box. Her eyes grew two sizes as her jaw dropped.

She still hadn't said a word when Jack repositioned himself on his knee.

"Better than a fishing pole?" He asked.

"Oh yeah…good choice…" She said, still staring at the three stone engagement ring.

"Are you going to say yes?" He asked trying to see her eyes over the top of the ring box.

Tilting her head to the side, Sam glared at him. "Are you going to ask?"

Lowering his hand, Jack moved in between her knees and hovered just above her lips.

"Sam?"

"Hmm?"

"Marry me?"

"I thought you'd never ask…" Wrapping her arms around his neck, Sam pulled him in and kissed him as she leaned back into the couch.

Without skipping a beat, Jack pulled the ring out of the box, threw the box over his shoulder and slipped the ring on Sam's finger as he kissed her…

"Okay, and then they lived happily ever after…" Cassie said as she stood from the bed.

"Oh wow…" Janie said, as she looked up at Cassie.

"Yeah…"Cassie couldn't help but laugh as she pulled the blankets over Janie. "Now—sleep, I'm not kidding. It's late and if you're awake when your parents get home your mother will kill me."

"Okay…" Janie said through a yawn as she snuggled down in her pillow. "Aunt Cassie?"

"Yes…?" Cassie asked as she turned back from the door.

"That was a great story."

"Good night Janet." Cassie said as she closed the door.

Walking down the hall, Cassie headed for the kitchen to clean up before Jack and Sam got home…

As fate would have it—just as she dried the last of the dinner dishes, the front door opened and her favorite surrogate parents walked in.

"Hey Cassie…sorry we're late." Sam said as she took off her coat and laid it over the back of the chair.

"It's your five year anniversary Sam—you should have stayed out longer." Cassie said, hugging Sam as she walked up and laid a kiss on her forehead.

"Thanks for babysitting." Sam said.

"Did she give you any trouble?" Jack asked as he locked the front door and walked into the kitchen.

"Of course not…she's a little angel…" Cassie said with a notable sense of sarcasm.

"Right…I'm going to check on her." Jack said as he walked back to his daughter's room.

Ever so gentle, Jack turned the doorknob and peered into his daughter's room. The nightlight beside her bed illuminated her face as she slept and Jack walked over and brushed the hair from her face before placing a kiss in her hairline. "Night Janet."

As Cassie walked to her car she remembered telling Janet about how her parent's got together. It was strange, she had never thought about it as an actual story but that's what it was…a story…a fairytale—complete with wizards, dragons and evil conquers. But above all…it had an undeniable love that stood the tests of time and space.


End file.
